Completing my interview of Will Millender, my hope is that his thoughts on obesity and it’s impact on life will help foster further discussion about the problem and how life insurance underwriters view it.
Question: We met through a blog about life insurance and weight issues. At your age 26, is life insurance something you care about?
I’m smart enough to know that if you get things like Life Insurance, or an IRA, or savings account at a young age, it will be more valuable to you than to do so than later on in life. The problem for me is more about money. When you’re making seven bucks an hour and working retail, it’s just not an option. I know I’ll need it. I know that it would be better to prepare now. But there are a lot of people in dire situations, and other, more immediate things take precedent over something long term like Life Insurance.
Question: I know in my first blog that you were one of two people, based on weight alone, that was uninsurable. You kind of blew that off as being funny. Is that really how you feel about being uninsurable?
Ha. It wasn’t funny that I was uninsurable, so much as it was that someone was writing about it. It was just something I didn’t expect someone to come up with. You sit there and search google everyday to read all the blogs where you name is mentioned, and it’s all about the drama on the show, or how inspired someone is to watch you and then all of a sudden, here’s some guy telling you that you can’t get life insurance. It was just random, lol. I’m happy though that I did find it because perhaps it puts Life Insurance more into perspective for me and I’m glad to have started to get to know you and I know that if I do ever decide that it’s the right time to make that decision, that there is someone that has my best interests at heart to contact.
Question: I believe you achieved your goal of losing 100#’s this week. Have you set a new goal? What would you consider your ideal weight to be? Do you believe it is achievable? Do you have a plan to get there?
(Unfortunately I’m still hanging on to 90 lbs. So let’s change the question to “You’re close to achieving your goal of losing 100 pounds, etc…)
I want to eventually be 250 pounds. I’m six feet two inches and I never wanted to be skinny. I’m always going to be at least the “husky” dude, which is where I feel I’ll be comfortable.
The thing I learned on the show is that I should set small goals, instead of worrying about 250. Right now I’m just near hitting that 100 pounds lost mark. Then When I hit 350 will be another victory. Then 300, etc… I’m hoping though that I will be at ideal weight by this time next year.
Question: You mentioned the idea of going to school to study in the nutrition field. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
I’m always the type of person that wants to help people. It’s why I’m so good in the customer service field. I’m the person that everyone loved because I would get things done for them, or at least use the best of my abilities to try and solve the problem. So I feel that by going to school for nutrition, or even some type of counseling where I can motivate and help shape peoples lives, I could do a lot of good. I don’t have a set plan because I’m in a position where I have to figure out my day to day life right now. But the one thing I have now that I didn’t before is a vision. I had the idea when the march started of opening an after school center for fat kids where they can learn exercise, nutrition, self defense and goals. So perhaps by my change in vision, I will be able to achieve this idea. Perhaps I can make the impossible seem possible now.
Question: What projects are you working on now that the “march” is over?
Well the first thing I’ve done is create my own T-Shirt line. Since my nickname is the Champ, I’ve created a website www.champwear.net where I’m selling shirts with designs that myself and my partner have come up with inspired by my nickname and personality.
I also had the privilege to meet Wendy Wright, on the show, who is a professional singer and who’s become a good friend. I recently went out to L.A. to go hang out with her, and we winded up writing and recording a song together that we’re trying to promote. The lyrics were inspired by our journey and the 10 other friends we’ve made along the way. It can be heard and downloaded on myspace at www.myspace.com/wendyandwillmusic
And anyone that would like to contact me just to say hello, or would like a word of advice and/or encouragement, can contact me at my personal email address at wmillender@gmail.com.
Again, my sincere appreciation to Will for his thoughtful participation in my endeavor to help people battling weight issues. I listened to the song and was impressed. I wish Will all the best and hope he will revisit our blog in the future for an update.
September 14th, 2007
Continuing on with my interview of Will Millender, my hope is that his thoughts on obesity and it’s impact on life will help foster further discussion about the problem and how life insurance underwriters view it.
Question: There is an epidemic of obesity today. If you were raising a child, what insight and ideas would you bring to fatherhood to help your child in his or her ability to control their weight?
My children are going to be nothing like me as far as what my eating habits had become. They’re going to see all the pictures and watch the show and know the pitfalls I had. Me and my future wife, will make sure to study and follow the proper nutrition for our child so they will not only completely avoid the same lifestyle, but not even consider the possibility. I’ll make sure that when my child has problems, the answer will never be food. I’m also considering changing my major in college to nutrition or counseling which I could also bring to the table in helping raise a healthy child.
Question: At what age did you consider yourself to be the fittest that you have ever been?
I’d say I’m now the fittest I’ve ever been. Like I said, I was always the fat kid. Not really active, always eating bad. This time, I really make the effort. I am still struggling with the addictive qualities I have. At home, the weight is coming off a lot slower than some of the other marchers, and quicker than others. I’m happy with where I am at. I go to the gym, I’m gaining muscle that I didn’t have. I make the best attempt at eating right than I ever even considered doing before and I think that’s what’s important. Are the addictive qualities still there? Yes, it’s something I will struggle with for the rest of my life. The difference between then and now is that I choose to fight it. And I choose to not let a single failure, set me up for overall failure.
Question: You have told me about a person you have been helping with his or her quest to lose weight. Has it helped your own resolve to know that you are the support for another person?
I cannot express to you how it feels when someone who has the same problems you’ve faced, calls you because they want you to know that instead of getting drunk and partying, they played beer pong with Diet Pepsi and went to the gym afterwards. Or that they went to the grocery store and bought a food you suggested that they wouldn’t have tried before. So knowing that someone is taking something that I learned and using it themselves, when before they might not have done the same thing, is very empowering.
Question: From your experience describe the kind of support structure or team that is needed to be successful at weight loss.
Well the obvious person is yourself. You need to be the one to make the decisions. You need to be the one that believes in yourself. Because the people that are saying they want to change and then going to McDonalds for lunch everyday are the ones that people see right through their faux sincerity. For me personally though, when I think of someone being there for me, I think of someone that knows I’m going to screw up, or make mistakes and yet not make me feel like crap because of it. Someone that is going to pick me up instead of knocking me down. Someone that is going to go out of their way to get my butt out of bed and get into a gym, or for a walk. This can be a difficult position to give someone though. My girlfriend for example, will say something when she knows I shouldn’t be having something and sometimes I’ll know where she’s coming from and stop. But there are a lot of times where we argue. And it’s not because I think she’s wrong, but I also want to be able to make those decisions when she’s not there. I want to learn to be the one to say stop INSTEAD of her saying it for me because then sometimes you can feel like they’re an authority figure telling you you’re not allowed something rather than someone that is sincere in their caring for you. You know they care about you, but you get so frustrated that someone has to tell you to do something instead of figuring it out for yourself and using that power of control that you know you have somewhere inside you.
Question: What is your driving force behind weight loss? Is it acceptance? Is it the potential health problems that are associated with obesity?
I’ve always been comfortable with my size and who I was. I never made any excuses for being fat. I was just a guy who ate a lot, point blank. I knew, health wise though that 480 pounds was not the right way to live. I have a herniated disk in my back. My knees are shot because of that, and I don’t get around as fast as most people. I knew that I had a girlfriend at home that was so worried about my habits and would tell me on many occasions about how worried she was to have kids because I wouldn’t be able to play with them. I knew that my grandfather has suffered many heart attacks and that my mom and aunt both have a heart arrhythmia and surgeries. These should all have been motivations in themselves but for some reason they weren’t powerful enough to overcome that switch in my brain that I couldn’t turn off. So like I said before, I always knew that a controlled environment was my best chance for success, I just never had the option available. Once I got to the march, I knew that there was no way of screwing up because, seriously, where was I going to get a Snickers in the middle of the woods with no money?
September 14th, 2007
After completing my series of blogs on the reality show Fat March and the reality of how weight and weight loss can affect life insurance rates, I had the pleasure of getting to know and interviewing one of the participants, Will Millender. Over the next 3 posts I will be “airing” that interview. Will has some heartfelt and poignant thoughts on his overweight life that I think are very relevant in the continuing discussion about obesity, health and life insurance.
Question: At what age did your weight problem begin? Tell me a little bit about the progression.
I was always the fat kid. When I was 9 or 10, the doctors would always tell me I had the weight of a 13 year old. The reason was simple. I grew up with a mom who has poor eating habits and passed them on to me. This continued all the way up until leaving for the march. When I say this, I don’t mean to point a finger. When you hit 25 years old, and you still have the problem, yes your environment is partially responsible, but at some point, you have to take personal responsibility.
Question: You have described yourself as addicted to food. Even though this is a fairly recent revelation, in retrospect, what were some of the early signs?
Going back to personal responsibility, I never wanted to take it. That means ignoring any sign that I DID have a problem. I always chalked it up to liking food. I wasn’t really an emotional eater, rather if I had an emotional issue and I was on a diet, it made me not care about the diet anymore, but this happened more often than not. One cheat day would turn into two, two into three, three into a week, etc. The day I finally look myself in the mirror and realized I had an addiction, it was because of a television show. Primetime ABC had a special about obesity and they had an interview with a guy named Michael Hebranko. Here you have a guy that was 900 pounds, lost 700 pounds and ballooned back up to 1,000 pounds. And the first thought I had was “how could this jerk do this to himself, what a loser, this is freaking ridiculous.” And the more he spoke, the more I identified with everything. I remember he said, and I’m paraphrasing, “An alcoholic can put down a drink and never have to have it again, but a food addict has to put a fork back in his mouth to survive.” And all of a sudden for some reason it clicked with me and made sense. I had been looking into “the easy way out”, surgery. I figured it was the answer and yet as much as I wanted to change, here I was on the website, crying, and then eating a half dozen donuts the next day. It was out of control.
Question: We all know about Fat March. What were your other most serious attempts at weight loss? Why did they fail?
I’ve tried Weight Watchers in the past. I’ve tried plain old just eating right. Dieting is not rocket science. Control your portions, be active. Anyone with half a brain can lose weight. But we all have personal freedom of choice. And THAT is where everyone messes up. I can go on any diet I want to. But if I can’t control my hand from grabbing the Twinkie and putting it in my mouth, then what’s the point? The problem I’ve always had is that my brain just will not do the right thing. I don’t understand the physiology of it, but there is something in the brain that just makes me want the wrong thing all the time, and a lot of it. What I always said would be the thing that would work, would be to put everything out of my control and get me started. Literally put my life into someone elses hands where none of the choices were mine. And once I had that foot in the door, I would be able to continue because I’d finally see a difference in myself. That is the thing when you get as big as I was. You look in the mirror, lose 10 pounds, don’t see ANY difference physically, and then ask yourself “why are you even bothering?”. Now when I see a pound or two more than I was, I’m pissed. I’ve since went back on Weight Watchers because that control issue is being worked out, little by little, and it’s a great way to just help you keep track of what you’re doing.
Question: Growing up, how did your family feel about weight control? Were they supportive of your weight gain? Were they supportive of any weight loss?
My family has definately been supportive and wanted me to lose weight. But around here, support is “We know you can do it. Please pass the fried chicken.” It’s really hard to get support from people that are, themselves, doing nothing but drinking regular soda and eating cookies and then have no alternative to offer nor was an alternative really wanted in the first place. My grandparents have always worried too, but eventually, they knew their concern was of no value and stopped voicing it. You can only tell a fatty so many times how worried you are before you don’t care anymore.
Question: What was the competitive eating all about? Did it seem like a way to capitalize on your addiction?
For me, competitive eating was just for fun and got me attention. For once, I was cheered for being able to eat a pizza pie instead of chastised. I could walk down the street and people would stop and recognize me and want to shake my hand. I got on a television show on the Discovery Health channel. Unfortunately, it felt good to know that the problem that made people judge me and stay away from me, was making me popular.
I will continue this over 2 more posts. My thanks to Will for his candid answers.
September 14th, 2007
I recently wanted to share some thoughts on a diabetes issue concerning a blog I read on the American Diabetes Association website. Diabetes and getting fair treatment on life insurance for those that suffer from it has been a passion of mine for at least the past 10 years.
People with diabetes can run into some real problems finding life insurance. There is a real need for an advocate in this area and I have tried to fill that void. So, when I see an opportunity to share knowledge that I know needs to be shared, I jump on it.
So, I shared this bit of knowledge on the ADA message board. Just like these blogs and other blogs where I offer comments, I don’t sell life insurance. I don’t give people my phone number. I don’t tell them to buy from me. I just offer the information and figure if it helps someone, well, what goes around comes around.
The day after I offered my comment on the ADA message board I got an email from the “monitor” of the message board saying that he had deleted my comment and that I was “despicable” for have tried to use the ADA to sell life insurance. He ranted and raved in his email and called me everything but honorable. I called him and he didn’t back off even though I pointed out that there wasn’t any attempt to sell anything in my comment.
So, that was my first experience with the ADA as an advocacy group. Then I decided to spend some time on their website and see, if they aren’t going to allow input from me concerning life insurance, just what they offer for education or links to their constituents. You go to their website and if you find something, let me know.
The answer is absolutely nothing. They would appear to, “frankly my dear not give a hoot” about whether you ever get life insurance protection for your family or not.
Bottom line. I now would add the ADA to my list of under achievers in the advocacy department, along with AARP for us old folks, AOPA for private pilots, and on and on. When did it go out of fashion to just help people?
September 14th, 2007
